So I messed up. Not in the oh-my-God-how-am-I-ever-going-to-show-someone-my-face-again kind of way, but I-can’t-believe-‘I’-did-THAT kind of way. And it is way smaller than I am making it out to be. But I like the dramatic sound if it, simply because I don’t have any drama in my life (sigh!) So I am going to let you believe I did something jaw-droppingly awful.
Till I actually tell you what I did.
With forty days to go, I have spent the last two days sending e-mails to family, friends and colleagues inviting them to my wedding. And if you know me at all, you know how I pride myself on writing correctly and ALWAYS judge others who don’t. You wouldn’t believe the number of wedding cards I have read and wished they had brought it to me to proofread it before they were printed. I don’t know why I do this, but I do it and I cannot seem to stop.
Is it silly? Yes. Is it mean? Oh yes! And Oh-My-God is it annoying for others? The answer to that too, would be YES. If there was such a thing as Grammar-Freaks Anonymous, I would be there. A lot. I could be President, if those groups even had such a thing; but I would never know.
So when we were getting the cards for my wedding printed, I was after my mother’s life to let me draft the content and that would ensure no cheesy lines, no unnecessary big words, and no grammatical errors. It would be simple and sweet. And it turned out to be perfect. Really, because how could it not be when I was involved?
But then I messed up.
Like you couldn’t believe.
In my defense, it wasn’t even a grammatical error or spell... I guess I should just be out with it.
As I said, I was sending e-mails out to people I cannot personally meet and invite, and because e-mails are not as personal as a tete-a-tete, I was also calling people (in the same time zone) and letting them know that I am about to get married and I would like to invite them for my wedding, but I wouldn't be able to come and personally meet them. I would then follow that up with an e-mail.
There have been a lot of weddings in November-December 2012 and I was aghast at the way people invite others (and I would need a whole new post to cover that.) So I was determined to do this right. So not only did I call (most people) before I sent an e-mail, I also wrote a small, personal note to make the e-mail a bit more, well, personal. I worded the whole thing very carefully, read it at least twice and later discovered that I had sent out at least five e-mails that said:
...if you could bet there our special day.
And even after I changed the “bet there” (obviously a typo. I know better than to write ‘bet there’) to “be there,” I sent at least another fifteen e-mails that did not say “be there on our special day.”
I know. I am awesome.
Then, I made the first real blunder. As in, something that could not be a typing error or an error of omission.
An e-mail to Ashwin (my cousin in the U.S.) - even though it had been edited appropriately to account for the family relationship and such - went out as an e-mail to ‘Arun & Divya.’ Another star for me! Yay!
I didn’t even realise this till my fiancé (who was CC’d in every e-mail (and who did not point out that I had missed the preposition ‘on’ while writing ‘be there on our special day’ until I sent twenty e-mails with the wrong sentence)) sent me an e-mail saying:
Why have you addressed Ashwin’s e-mail to Arun & Divya?
Who is Ashwin?
And when I did not respond, he had to call me to congratulate me for the immense effort I had put in sending the e-mails out. I immediately wrote out an apology to Ashwin for the mix-up in names and asked him to excuse my oversight. He still hasn’t replied. I am not sure if that is because he hasn’t seen his e-mails or because he is royally pissed off that I couldn’t get something as simple as his name, right.
If that was all I did, it would have been great. Actually, great is an understatement. It would have been, for lack of a better word, great.
But I don’t think I had had my fill of the day and I needed to piss off one more person in my family before I could sleep peacefully (I’ll explain this later.) I’m sure if someone had access to all the e-mails I was sending out that day (other than my fiancé, of course,) they would think that I had something against my family. But it was just a pathetic coincidence that I was writing pathetic and maybe slightly offensive e-mails to my family, because let’s face it; a lot of people are not always grammatically correct, so people generally excuse that. Unless they are like me. Then they would first sneer and laugh at how someone could be so silly. And then go on about how people cannot pay attention to such small and simple details even in their wedding invite. But that's just me.
But you have to be in a whole different category of crazy to take a stab at the names of your family members.
The second error was made when I was writing to my cousin sister in the U.S. and I bloody misspelt her name. You see, after my first mistake, I was trying so hard to just get the names right that I did not care if the alphabets in the name were in the right order.
Her name has 6. And I messed even those up.
This time, my fiancé realised that given the frenzy that I was in, I may not even see his e-mail and if I wasn't stopped immediately, I would maybe send out a few more e-mails and that would mean taking a huge risk because my fingertips seemed to have a mind of their own. So he pinged me on Gtalk asking me to cut it out. Sort of.
I have met Rasika a total of five times in my life, but she is one of my favourite people in the family because she is awesome and fun and so very cuddly. And even though she’s just a few years older than I am, she treats me like a baby and I love it. And I freaking messed up her name. So I immediately wrote out an e-mail to her, apologising on e-mail for the second time in fifteen minutes.
“Okay, this is the second e-mail of this sort that I am sending and I am glad that I am making such silly mistakes in e-mails to family only. My friends would have a good laugh. Maybe you would too, but I wouldn’t take offense to that.
Spelling your sister's name wrong is second only to writing someone else's name in the e-mail to your brother. What makes it worse, is the fact that my fiancé had to ping me on Gtalk with
"Raskia? I think you need to sleep. Do this tomorrow"
(loosely translated as - You are losing it. Just turn the freaking computer off.)
But I can see how that may have happened. I am (majorly) sleep deprived and that's silly because I have been trying hard not to compromise on my beauty sleep, what with the wedding just around the corner and everything. THAT, coupled with excitement (that is hidden well inside my I-don't-care-how-much-work-still-has-to-be-done exterior) is responsible for me spelling your name Raskia instead of Rasika. I am sure no apologies can change that. The only thing that can, is if I get to give you a bear hug when I tell you this whole story once again.
So just for the sake of accepting my apology for misspelling your name, please come to my wedding and I'll give you the biggest bear hug EVER.
Of course I didn’t write Jackie. I wrote my real name. But you get the point.
Luckily for me, neither she nor her husband have taken offense. But I am still waiting to hear from Ashwin. It’ll be awesome if my extended family has a good sense of humour. Or are willing to discount the fact that a stressed out bride is allowed to make errors, however huge or offensive they might be otherwise.
I just hope I can get away with this. Just this once.
This also goes to say how important Beauty Sleep is. And not just to look beautiful, but to not look stupid.
I knew there was a reason I love sleeping. It makes me smart. :D
P.S. I am not sure how many of you noticed, but there has been a slight change in my writing style. I am currently reading I Heart Paris by Lindsey Kelk (Book #3 in the ‘I Heart’ series) and I have read these three back to back. Her writing style is fun, self deprecating and makes for an enjoyable read. I realised I have been slightly influenced by that while I was proofreading this. And then I thanked the Lord because right before the I Heart series, I read the Fifty Shades Trilogy, and let me tell you, EL James – not inspiring.