I may not have always been like this, but I have noticed this in the past few years and I am not ashamed of it, most certainly not. The thing about me is that I like to ‘enjoy’ things. Let me explain this a little further. For instance, let’s say I am taking a nap; I want to enjoy the nap, so much that I absolutely despise interruptions in any form whatsoever. It could be the beep on my phone from a message, or the doorbell, or someone (my sister) deliberately singing/talking on the phone in the same room as I have been sleeping/napping when there are three other places in the house good enough for them (her) to do so, or simply any other sound or noise in the surroundings.
I take it to a whole another level when I’m actually sleeping (as opposed to just napping.) I don’t like even the faintest streak of light or the tiniest bit of sound (add breathing loudly or worse, SNORING, to the list above) and I really want the room to be cool, if not cold. But that doesn’t happen always. And it’s annoying. So annoying.
But I guess ‘a nap’ or ‘sleeping’ was not the best example I could give you because I am probably not the only one who wants to sleep peacefully. So let me give you another example like watching TV.
For me, every activity is an event in my life, and if I cannot do it right and to my satisfaction, I’d rather not do it at all. So when I decide to watch TV, I am really well prepared for that. I lie down comfortably on my couch; have the remote close to me and a bottle of water next to couch just so I don’t have to get up. Sometimes, I even have a bowl of steaming hot popcorn ready whether I’m watching ‘Home Alone’ or ‘How I Met Your Mother’ or even ‘Oggy and the Cockroaches’ for that matter. The point is, I make an effort to plan how I’m going to spend those thirty minutes to an hour of my life watching TV and since I don’t want to do the ordinary ‘couch potato’ thing, I make a hell lot of an effort to make it comfortable, relaxing and as out-of-the-world (while still staying at home) as possible.
And then the phone rings.
And it’s my mom.
And she goes on for about three and a half minutes (result: I miss 4-5 great punch lines) and then hangs up. And then I am in no mood to continue watching TV.
I’ve been told I am not supposed to be this rigid; that things happen and I cannot always have things the way I want, and more importantly, that I cannot control others or the things they do. But I’ll tell you what I can do. I can choose to not open the door or not answer the phone or put ear plugs on while I take a nap (and be oblivious to the rest of the world) or put earphones on and listen to music when I’m trying to read and the people in the train won’t shut up or better yet, ask them to shut the hell up. Here’s what else I can do, I can scare the kids who think throwing a ball back and forth on the building won’t do any harm, when they don’t realise that the “wall” they’re bouncing the ball on happens to be someone’s bedroom and someone might be sleeping even if it is 10 AM; I can forget the rest of the world and get on with my business like no one else exists and believe me, I have been tempted to do that more number of times than I can remember.
My question here is ‘Why?’ Is it really too much to ask to be able to enjoy thirty (to sixty minutes) of television without interruption? Or being able to listen to music without having to answer the phone or having a decent conversation without music or the TV blaring in the background or just enjoy a whole pear while watching ‘Grey’s Anatomy’ on the computer without being called by my mother twice - once to see what was going on, on ‘Baalika Vadhu’ (which I absolutely don’t care about) and the other time, just to be sent back in because she couldn’t remember what she had called me for in the first place? By the time I settled down, I had finished the pear and then I had to get up to throw the seeds.
I am not expecting others to find joy in little things in life, like not mixing the raita with the pulao and therefore being able to enjoy both their tastes individually, but I can do that if I want to, and I want to be able to do that without being interrupted or judged. I don’t need a whole lot to make me happy and I am pretty content finding happiness in these little things all by myself. But why is it that when I want to do something in my own special way, the universe seems to choose that moment and ruin it? Is it too much to ask, this want that I have to sit comfortably in the bus and read without someone’s huge bag brushing against my shoulder every ten seconds? Tell me if it is too much and tell me now, so that I can tell you where to go.